Saturday, June 03, 2006

Beach Baby

Hello and long time no see. Yes I know I am a bad blogger for not updating recently. I really have been swamped at work. I have a job now kids! Yay! I'm living in Myrtle Beach and working for an internship company that works with resorts here to give interns a chance to learn on-the-job experience. Most of the students are hotel management or hospitality majors. About 80% are international students aw well. Ok now that I've 'plugged' my job, let's move on.
Has anyone ever been to Bike Week? Ok well I successfully made it through Bike Week and Black Bike Week. Bike Week is mostly the Harleys and what I was told, the 'real' bikes. Black Bike Week is mostly what we term 'crotch rockets.' Both equally loud and both equally have the potential for danger. South Carolina does not have helmet laws unless you're under 21. The worst part is that people come down here and rent these bikes and don't know how to ride them. The first bike week- 121 accidents and 6 deaths last I had heard. The second week I didn't hear anything but I damn near killed someone myself. They whip in and out of traffic like maniacs and I wish I had a dime for everytime a car slammed on its brakes. I'd be loaded. But now that those are done with I won't have to hear about anymore "Beer Belly Contests" or "Finest Mullet on the Beach" awards. But what I do have to deal with is Senior Week. I know what I did on senior week and that's all that needs to be said. We all were either really laid back or these kids can out party an 80's hair band on a world tour. They can't drive or see with "Senior '06 Get Crunk" painted on their car windows. They wear absolutely next to nothing and wonder why locals are taking pictures of them with the zoom on. They act like their 'just graduated' status means they can drink anywhere- news flash: try this again when you are a senior in college. I'm not amused. Here's a funny story....if you're under 21 pay attention so you don't make this same mistake.

So my manager and another supervisor went to Beach Vacations- the time share company that we rent the interns apartments from. They walk in and their are too young black girls trying to check in to their apartment with 1. fake ID's, and 2. their parent's credit card. Oh they came such a long way too......so long that you'd think they'd have time to memorize the birthdate on the ID (which they didn't know) and maybe to read the rental agreement where it states in no small print, "you must be 21 to rent or lease." Also you can be under 21 and not have someone who is 21 staying with you. Duh. I can see why the ID thing didn't work. Who ever heard of a fake ID working in broad daylight in an office building? Maybe at a bar where the lights are dim and the doorman is drunk, but certainly not at 1:00 in the afternoon. Stupid!
So of course, they had come so far and now had no place to stay for their rockin' week of partying, so they flipped out on the front desk clerk. From what I'm told hands were flying, made up names of 'important' people were dropped, all ending with a very calm woman behind the desk saying she is calling the police. Well that really did it, because they stormed off. About 10 minutes later they come back in crying and apologizing and wanted to know if their uncle came down and put the room on his card if it would be ok. Sure girls- will he be staying all week with you? Here's where you're supposed to enter a very emphatic YES. Not these girls (who at the moment represent all we know of the future of America for the 2006 school year, and from what I know- we're fucked). They reply, "Well no he's too old. He just lives two hours away and was going to drive down and check us in." Stupid!
Welp, no room then. We'll give you your deposit back and good luck. In less time than it takes to blink, these bitches start flipping out again. I wish I was there. The scene is so easy to imagine. So the cops came and took care of the rest. But come on....you asked for that one. Obviously they were not taught the art of bullshitting like I was in high school. You don't get any props for being honest here. Stupid!

I flew home to get my car last weekend. That was an experience. I had three flights- Myrtle Beach to Charlotte, Charlotte to D.C. and D.C. to Charleston, WV. First flight was awesome- DVD screens at each seat for movies, drinks if you wanted, nice smooth flight, the couple next to me wanted to share their breakfast with me. Then I get to Charlotte. The smallest plane I had ever seen fly out of a major airline. It was freezing on the plane, some assclown was in my seat (I'm a window girl.) and I eventually just took someone else's seat. For some reason I was scared to death. I was doing the whole Hail Mary, counting in intervals based on my knowledge of the multiplication tables, and deep breathing. It all paid off until the last 20 min when I thought my right ear was going to be sucked out of the other side of my head. I know your ears are supposed to feel a little pressure, but I shit you not- I almost cried. I'm chomping gum like I'm on E and nothing is working. Finally landing with tears in my eyes, I walk into the airport and wait an hour and 15 min for my next flight. This airport is gross, p.s. So it's time for my flight and I look out the window of the gate and realize God has trumped me yet again- this is the smallest plane I'd ever seen come out of a major airline. I was like oh cool who chartered a plane? Apparently I did, along with 20 other people. That's right the max was 25 people on this one. So as we ware boarding I'm taking inventory of everything. I had to duck to get into the cabin, which was less than 9 feet wide. The aisle was about a foot and a half wide- I don't know how this one lady got in there. So I find my seat next to a guy eating some greasy thing that made me want to hurl. Then the flight attendant graces us with her pressence and asks if some of us could move to the back of the plane- for weight distribution purposes. I literally blurted out, "you've got to be shitting me." After the red shade of embarrassment left my face, I buckled my seat belt, belonging to a seat in the back of the plane. The plane began taxiing down the runway and I begin counting once more. And we're in the air. Three minutes into the flight the planes tips to the left at about a 30 degree angle and stays that way for half a century- maybe 2 minutes- but it felt like forever. I wasn't the only person looking around like something was the matter. Then the plane started shaking, so bad that I couldn't read because the only thing holding me in the seat was my seat belt. Not once did anyone alert the passengers that things were ok. So naturally we expect the worse. We had Joe Schmoe making jokes about the turbulence, and some chick trying to call home 'just incase.' As soon as we land I wanted to jump out of the plane and scream "LAND!" as I dropped to my knees. I didn't stop shaking for an hour.

So I will not be getting on any planes soon...I'm still rattled.